Monday, December 29, 2014

And so it goes...

Erlebnisse. (n.)the experiences, positive or negative, that we feels most deeply, and through which we truly live; not mere experiences, but Experiences.

The only thing good about 2014 was that it was marginally better than 2013, which let’s say was a terrible year.

2014 though was all over the place, it made me a 16 year old at times and a 29year old at other times. I’ve became ‘jaded’ about things I wasn’t ready for. I also realized that being vulnerable is the best way to truly feel things both good and bad and there is nothing wrong with feeling things as opposed to what I thought earlier. Feelings were for the weak. But really they are for those who can deal with them.

True to my resolution of the year past, I was more confrontational and therefore more truthful to everyone around me. This one is going to roll over to the next year though because there is a lot more room for improvement. This year a continuation of last year’s second half was also sort of a limbo period. It felt like I was stuck in a transition, not there but not quite here either. The highlights of the year were definitely the times I was away for vacation, where the people I really love were all around. Participating in three weddings and getting really close to new cooler family members was also a lovely underlying theme.

The visual of driving away from the people I love to the airport has been etched in my head whether in cabs or metros or buses each was more painful than the last and almost every single one of them led to me crying my heart out next to an unsuspecting, probably confused fellow passenger. If I had to put a positive spin on this, it was only the thrill of getting to see them again for the first time after a long time. But that’s horseshit.

So as this not as terrible as last-but could be way better-year came to an end, it definitely brought out the winter sun for me. A promise that the coming year will definitely be much much better. I’ll be damned if it isn’t.

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