I can feel it in my fingers.
I can feel it in my toes. Things are changing and unlike a year ago, when I loved every minute of the change - I detest every second of it this time around. Only because I didn't plan it. It’s frustrating because this is not what I want. I didn't want to leave my apartment, I don’t want to leave the country I have come to make my own and more than anything else I don’t want to leave my friends. It feels like the end of an era. The five best years of my life are coming to a close and it breaks my heart - because this is not how I had imagined it. However I am starting to come to terms with it. Because it just can’t get worse after this. This is rock bottom. These are the dungeons. At this point I have nothing to lose, so instead I have stubborn determination. To get out of this. To be better than last time. To restart. To find new horizons. Last year was perfect in many ways; this year has been the exact opposite. I have faced more rejections than I’d like to