Sunday, June 19, 2011

In a fix.

On a general note I am a very satisfied person, when it comes to me. I really think highly of everything about me. I like my sense of style, my eating habits, my body, my face, my hair, my choices and you know, just happy with the way I am.

But what do you do when you find out something about yourself that you don't like. And it's not one of the things you can just ignore, because it’s one of those self destructive things. In a sense at least, it’s like no one but you suffers from it.

My imperfection comes in because I am a people pleaser. I like to make everyone happy. In other words, I can’t say no. just really can't say no, not even if my life depended on it. I just have the constant need to make everyone around me happy. And if I say something which might or according to me might offend them, or hurt them even though it’s the truth, I am so hard on myself about it. I’d rather text them the same thing, even if they were in the same room. And even in the text I’d say it in an apologetic tone, as if it’s my fault.

I really don’t like this about me. I don’t like that people take me for granted (though it doesn’t happen that often) or try to get the better of me just because I am not saying anything. I just feel that if I was them and they said that to me I would be offended. But I have also noted that when they do I am not that mad. Another reason I want to change this is because, the age I am at right now is pretty delicate. If I don’t change it now, I’m going to be this way forever. And I just stress out too much when people are doing those things or asking those things to which I can’t say no.