Thursday, August 14, 2014

Then I saw her face -

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. And know what you give out to the world is what comes back to you, exponentially. So keep giving out the love and just have some patience and watch it come back and engulf you.

A thought that has been taking shape in my head for the last few months keeps getting stronger every day. I have come to believe that there is a time and place for everything, even for love. Love comes to you in many ways, many times and every time with greater intensity. Every time you have a brush with love, you try to keep your self protected from it, then you open up to it, then you are vulnerable to it and then it climaxes. Of course the climax can be the beginning of a long long time or the end of the very short but appropriate time.

But I think, that however long or short your affair with love was, it is important to remember how good it was and that its over now. Nothing will ever be the same again, your views on certain things will be tainted, some songs will forever be etched in your memory as special and some smells will smack you right in the face out of nowhere 5 years later and you will be like, what the fuck just happened.

We place so much importance on true love as humans. It is almost selfish if you think of it, for what is love in the face of illnesses, war, poverty, crime and natural disasters? And why can you only have true love once, how is my love for my best friend any less truer than my love for my pet parrot or my significant other? Who defines that? I would gladly give up my life for all of those three. Just because things didn't work out with someone, does that mean my love was insincere or their's not enough? Why do we forget about how perfect it was while it lasted? Everything comes with expiry dates, even as soon as you are born the surest thing is that one day you will die.

Every once in a while though, you make some bonds and they surely evolve over time, but they last your lifetime. They may come and go, and come back sometimes. They may never come back, they may leave you with emotional scars, but as sure as I am of a sky above me, I believe that someone will come right back and heal them for you. We have the greatest power of all living things, which is to give and receive love. Just promise to be open to it, don't push away because you got hurt the first time, or the second time or the third - maybe the fourth time will be a charm : )

Monday, August 4, 2014

Fool on the hill

I think the person who breaks up with another person is often blamed unjustly. As a society we need to give more credit to the person who has the courage of pulling out of a relationship before it goes bad. For a long time I felt very guilty of breaking a heart, the one I had cared about for so long. But I knew before he did, and saw what he chose to unsee where the relationship was headed and took the decision for both of us. So I did it, I unplugged.

And I gladly accepted my position as the break-uper and knew that all the hate I got from him and his friends was justified to an extent, because had he dumped me it would have been exactly reversed. I knew I wanted to be there for him anyway he needed me, just not in a romantic way. Because before everything else, he was first and foremost my friend and I never wanted to change that equation.

But now that almost an equal amount of time has passed since the break up as the duration of our relationship. I cannot and will not make an effort to reach out and try to be 'friends'. I expect you to grow the fuck up. After a while, even the guilt trip completes it's lap and yea I broke your heart, but you broke mine every day since then. I may have wronged you, but that does not give you the right to show me down every single time you get a chance to. We are now equals in terms of the crime committed. I no longer feel the weight of my actions.

Bye forever.