Tatyana in medias res

A checklist of sorts.  Lists on the internet are so irresistible. Thought Catalog and Buzzfeed endlessly thrive on this format, and I contribute to an unhealthy percentage of those list readers. So here is one, the quarter century milestone. What I have accomplished and what I am yet to make peace with and things that are still work in progress. This is not something you need to apply to your life, because you and I are as different as different can be. Make your own list.   1. Parents - this is the big one. Make peace with your parents. Get to know them, as infuriating as it is, get to know their political party preference and their views on homosexuality. Reason with them why you are right or try to see what their point of view is. And if they have, give them credit for how far they have come to accept changes in the society from when they were kids. The last two years of living with my parents gave me tons of opportunity to do this, though it did end in a lot of shouting

In the last few years, I have read a handful of books that have impacted me in a deeper way than I imagined they would. Freakonomics for example was something I could not put down, I kept nodding my head in agreement with every theory and also realized how my approach to economics in academia was fueled by the behavioral aspect of it. Anthem, by Ayn Rand was another that opened my eyes to the power of I. But nothing could have prepared me for the affirmation that came to my self while reading 'Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch'. To preface as I always do, I am not a religious person, although I do identify as a Hindu. I read the Bhagwad Gita when I was in high school and realized quickly that a lot of the things that practicing Hindus do in the name of religion are not necessarily aligned with my interpretation of the book. I believe more strongly in spirituality which comes from inside and not by public display of God adoration. So while I believe in evolut

Of course I am going to blog about it. The opposite of love, is fear. And today, I'm letting fear win. We are taught all our lives that love is conditional. That people will only love you if you act a certain way. Everyone from your parents to your teachers tell you that you are desirable if you do the right things and less so if you don't. So obviously when you're interacting with other human beings who are full of doubt just like yourself, you are subject to their pre-set conditions as well. We can never trust them fully when they say they will never leave you. Because human experience says other wise. It is why humans love, then destroy then love again. Because we need to know that even after we have destroyed something it will come back and love us. Love sponsors fear sponsors love sponsors fear... .... and so in the moment you pledge your highest love, you greet your greatest fear. For the first thing you worry about after saying I Love You is whether you y

“When a boy tells you he loves you for the first time only to become silent like a folded sheet of tissue paper not wanting you to decrease him into the truth, do not crack your face into the fullest crescent moon at the tapered bottom of a blackened sky. He never meant a single word of any of it. He is just a boy, remember? Only a boy, do you remember?” - Edwin Bodney, “When a Boy Tells You He Loves You”

Because I don’t need anyone else to tell me that my fajita burrito is perfection. While a lot of activities are more enjoyable when shared, food fortunately is not one of them. You could have a meal in the presence of others, but their presence has nothing to do with how good my food will taste or how much I will enjoy it. I love that if I wanted to I could walk into a restaurant and order two appetizers, a soup and a drink, a main and more sides, because I’m gluttony personified. I like to take that hour of the day to disconnect from social pressure of making conversation or even listening to anyone else. Even as an extrovert, sometimes you need a minute to recharge and food does exactly that. To reflect on your own thoughts and read that book, or brainstorm on that really backdated blog. Eating alone sometimes gets a bad rep, but take it from someone who is reasonably attractive and could get a date every day for a year for every meal, there is nothing sad about it. I