Friday, March 8, 2013

Hello, Goodbye!

Something weird happened today. I cried. At work. So embarrassing.

So one of my colleagues is transferring to a different location and today was her last day. I have only known her for like 6odd months, but for some reason her going away, made me a lot more emotional that I thought it would. Partially, of course I will miss her, as I had grown very fond of her, and she is a cool cat to hang with. But nothing to make me the mess I was.

And this wasn’t like a courtesy tear or two, this was full on balling, and it just wouldn’t stop. I was crying silently at first, then had to use napkins, and then finally actually get up and take a step outside so I could get some air. Intense. This has like never happened before. Ever.

After some introspection I think apart from the main reason, that I will feel her absence at work, I realized there were a couple of other things too.

Coming to a new city and finally adjusting to people here and getting comfortable, I felt like my safety net was being pulled out from under me. It was very unsettling. I felt powerless about my surroundings, and how I had no control over how I was feeling.

And the second reason was it made me revisit my departure from WV. I think it’s finally starting to settle in that my friends are far away from me and we can’t just go to black bear down the street or buffalo wild wings across the street whenever I want. I think wanting to belong, is one of the most primitive of human needs and it’s amazing how we go to great lengths to achieve that. When I left college, I was blinded with excitement of starting to work and a new place and real income and all that good stuff. Just as exciting as it was then, I am starting to get in the rut and. Because it’s so easy to just sit back and be in your comfort zone, but when you are in new place its harder to find that zone.

Or. It could just be PMS

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