Tatyana in medias res

Everything is normal and you are just watching a friends episode for the 23rd time while also searching for the end of the internet. And then suddenly it hits you like a brick. You freeze, and you have trouble breathing. You are taking deep breaths but it still feels like you aren't getting enough oxygen. Your brain is spinning, but you know nothing is actually moving. You are trying really hard to focus on just one stationary object but it feels like you are on a really fast moving carousel, everything is a blur.  You feel like you need to get out of your body, and maybe if you bleed it out it will feel better. But you don't do that obviously because thats very stupid. It's like missing a step on the staircase in the dark, its that lurch in your stomach but you don't know how long it will last. The last time it was ten minutes, the time before that it was thirty. It could be a lot longer this time. You are freaking out even though a part of your brain knows you ...

There is something very intimate when you look into someone's eyes. It can sometimes make you forget everything that you have been thinking about. You can have full conversations with your best friend only using your eyes, when you are surrounded by too many people who can't know things you need to communicate. You can use your eyes to apologize to someone, to share a smile with someone, to express desperation, to express horror and anger and to show desire for something or best of all to roll them at someone too basic. Then there is the greatest of all use of eyes, as shown perfectly in this song up to a minute and twenty seconds, when you are searching for the most elusive of all emotions. I look at you, you look up, I look away. I look up and catch you looking at me and still I look away. This little dance of peeks and glances, and I hope you are braver than me. We look at each other a little too long and know we aren't just friends anymore. You almost begin to re...

Fall. A september to remember, an october full of splendour and a november to treasure. It's nature's way of showing us that everything is beautiful even as it is dying. By every measure autumn is my favorite season of the year. I do prefer to call it fall of course, because my first experience with it was in the US, therefore fall it is. It springs on you one morning in a cute little way when 5 leaves on the tree in your driveway will have turned pink. And then bam! ten days later the whole tree is pink and orange and a wonderful bit yellow. You can never get enough of this season either, the fantastic things that happen to the leaves never gets old. It's also when all the wonderful things happen. Oktoberfest, halloween, diwali, birthdays, bonfires, apple picking, apple pies, pumpkin pies and everything in between. Every leaf is now a flower, it's like a grand finale of the year. Outside my window, the leaves are changing, the sunset is even changing, it's ...