Tatyana in medias res

It is a true life of privilege if you are always the one who loves less, who feels less, who cares less and invests less. And the only time you figure this out is when that privilege is taken away from you. All your life you have this skewed sense of what love is like and what it should be like and how it should make you feel. Then one day, you find out how wrong you have been. You had never before tasted the agony of not knowing, the restlessness to find out if this is it and the determination to move mountains to make it work. Whatever ‘it’ is. It is like absolutely having to remove the patch of scabby dry skin that is formed over a recent scratch even though it may hurt, you have to do it. Like having to touch the plate right after the server tells you ‘be careful –it’s hot’. This is like the epiphany that Ranbir has in Bachna Ae Haseeno, when he decides to right his wrongs of the past, even though he knows it won’t secure his future with Deepika. But it’s when you see

Erlebnisse. (n.)the experiences, positive or negative, that we feels most deeply, and through which we truly live; not mere experiences, but Experiences. The only thing good about 2014 was that it was marginally better than 2013, which let’s say was a terrible year. 2014 though was all over the place, it made me a 16 year old at times and a 29year old at other times. I’ve became ‘jaded’ about things I wasn’t ready for. I also realized that being vulnerable is the best way to truly feel things both good and bad and there is nothing wrong with feeling things as opposed to what I thought earlier. Feelings were for the weak. But really they are for those who can deal with them. True to my resolution of the year past, I was more confrontational and therefore more truthful to everyone around me. This one is going to roll over to the next year though because there is a lot more room for improvement. This year a continuation of last year’s second half was also sort of a limbo perio